The Insane Clown Posse must be proud. They have practiced for this moment, busy being ninja-like in their avoidance of law enforcement. Law enforcement isn't going to take it, no, they're not going to take it, anymore. For today, the FBI decided teenage fads constitute gangs. Juggalos are officially classified as a gang, much to the disbelief of basically everyone.
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Here's where everyone would say 'Good, those face-painting fools had it coming.' Insert joke here about magnets. Talk about how hard Juggalos have it, working part time, earning enough money to afford ICP merchandise, and listening to rappers without flow. Yeah, I could go that route; make fun of the ICP fan base, a fan base so positively repulsive they were classified as a gang by the FBI. People will no doubt take this tact, talking about the near cult-like admiration ICP fans have for their Michigan-bred elders. But I'm not.
This worries me. When did we decide a teenage fad could be associated with a gang mentality? I'm not a fan of ICP though I did recently attend a concert with Johnny Vulpine to see them in action. Seeing them first hand I feel there isn't anything to worry about especially with that Slovenian philosopher showing up. Any band which has a mostly disillusioned teenage fan base is bound to have some level of criminal activity. Reading the report, most ICP fans have the normal habits of disappointed youth: breaking into cars, petty theft, wearing too much makeup, listening to shitty music, etc.
Many bands have cult-like followings. What band's fan base will be accused by the FBI of being a gang next? LCD Soundsystem, fans of the Lulu album (via them being crazy), or Animal Collective fans could be targeted. Having gone to a couple of Animal Collective concerts I'd say they may be targeted due to excessive face painting, similar to ICP's face paint only tasteful. LCD Soundsystem concerts are pure havens of obnoxious levels of pissing contests. Will pissing contests between music nerds get considered a gang next? If so, I may have to move to Sweden to fully indulge my music nerd impulses.
Who says the FBI will target even more bands? What if they decide to target blog readers? Oh my, what a crazy day that would be. They'd be accused of ‘illegal music sharing' and fined massive amounts of money. The RIAA would need a tissue for all the ejaculation if the FBI began targeting music blogs for ‘music piracy'. Good thing I don't do that. My approach has always been to inform rather than share random mediafire links to appear cool. Besides, I'm of the chill persuasion more than cool.
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So while you celebrate the classification of Juggalos, remember this is a step in the wrong direction. However abhorrent you may find them, this sets a bad precedent. ICP fans are just like you and me. The only difference is their music is shitty and the spend more on ICP-related merchandise than you do. Perhaps they reek of Faygo, perhaps they are transient as the FBI calls them, but they are people.
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To my Juggalo brothers and sisters, I offer you support in this hour of need.
